Darby Jean #87 - Messi, Kane, or Grealish?
Welcome back, pals. Nice to see everyone.
It almost always feels good to sit in a bar. They're full of promise: an undefined arc of time spent which, if managed well, can lead to a rewarding sense of leisure and some Shawarma afterward.
This promise improves greatly when the bar you’re at is showing football on TV.
Spilling your beer doesn’t matter as much. And you’re free to yell more- a type of yelling that’s met by the handshakes and back slaps of familiar strangers you see now and again.
The bar I visited on Saturday to kick off a new Premiership was a gift. I’d forgotten what bars are like when they're tuned just right.
It's a good thing the season's here.
The distant land of Lionel Messi
I've said before that I don't care much about Lionel Messi, but news of his transfer to Paris St. Germain can’t be ignored.
Messi is probably the world’s greatest footballer. He’s spent his entire career at Barcelona, where he became an institution. When his contract expired, and Barcelona realized/decided that they couldn’t afford to pay him, Messi left. For free.
There were only two viable destinations: Manchester City and Paris Saint Germain, the world’s two richest clubs. That they were the only options isn’t because other clubs didn’t want to sign Messi, or even that Messi may not have been interested in playing elsewhere. It’s because of money, and oligarchs-as-football-clubs, and it’s really taken the sheen off things even more than that Super League business.
The only thing that felt real about any of it was Messi tearing up at his goodbye presser. The arrangement between Barcelona, PSG, the Messis and Satan still feels horribly off, but you can’t fake not being able to talk because you don’t want to cry in front of 1 billion people. Let’s give him a few points for that.
Sergio Canos scores Brentford's first top flight goal in 74 years. (TeamTalk)
Brentford's unsubtle removal of Arsenal's pants
One game in and newly promoted Brentford are the story of the league. The Hollywood Bees’* 2-0 win over Arsenal on Friday felt deserved in that they played solid, high-tempo football and stayed organized. Arsenal, on the other hand, looked like they’d accepted a role in a production of Starlight Express and hadn’t bothered to look at their lines.
The Gunners were so bad that at times Mikel Arteta struck a visibly flustered figure, as though he’d left important papers in an unlocked car, and then been to buy a bunch of seltzer and realized that his wallet was in the car, too.
Where is Mikel Arteta’s car now, I wonder? No matter. Mon the Bees!
*Chapeau to Sleigh Bells for that one
I’m sick of the sight of these two (Football 365)
Harry Kane vs. Jack Grealish
Honest question: who do you think the English football media is going to blow harder this year? Jack Grealish, or Harry Kane? The season’s not even a week old and I’m already halfway off a bridge with these two. I've replied STOP to unsubscribe to both of them and nothing's fucking happening.
Lukaku avec Granovskaia
The season’s not even a week old and I’m already halfway off a bridge with these two.
Here’s a picture of Le Chezz’s marquee summer signing, Romelu Lukaku, holding up the club’s new Austin Powers-inspired jersey alongside Director of Football, Marina Granovskaia. Lukaku is affectionately known as ‘Big Rom’ because he’s a monster of a dude and his name starts with ‘Rom’. Granovskaia is called ‘The Iron Lady’. I’m unclear on whether this is because she’s from Russia or because she’s mean like Margaret Thatcher and no one could come up with a better name. Regardless, Lukaku and Granovskaia are both millionaires, and even millionaires take a crappy photo now and then.