Darby Jean #86 - Treat yourself to Tight Jeans
Ole!
The United States beat Mexico in Sunday’s Concacaf Nations League final. Concacaf games are usually a big, fat snooze, which makes this a good result for a few reasons.
1) The newly minted Nations League needed a slugfest between two giants for some street cred. The final reignited interest in the US/Mexico rivalry ahead of World Cup qualifying, which could make for a captivating twelve month cycle*. Huzzah for that.
2) The 3-2 US victory gives organizers hope for future tournament editions, though more than a few fans remain unclear on the meaningful differences between the Nations League and the Gold Cup.
3) Importantly, the result gives US Soccer fans a chance to fucking relax. To wit:
Christian Pulisic** scored the game winner. He’s still the hero with room on his back enough for this entire USMNT
Playing out of the back for this defense isn’t yet overly wise, but it’s starting to maybe-kind-of work a little, which suggests a squad assimilating to Berhalter doctrine in small increments
Sunday’s team showed a new version of traditional American soccer grit on their way to besting their most difficult regional opponent in extra time*** of a final. The ‘final’ part should not be understated, here.
Americans, friends, things will probably be fine. It’s a good time to believe.
* It won’t
**For some reason, I always want to call him Tony. Why?
*** Beating Mexico with all the time, never mind extra time, is no mean feat
No one loses in a shirt like this (Elneny Insta)
Issue 85 began with a photo of a near-death Mohammed Eleny kneeling on the field during a game. The more recent photo above from Elneny’s Instagram, shared by Jeanerist and Goonerphile, Neilson, suggests that Mohammed fares much better these days, as would any top flight footballer on holiday somewhere far flung and boat-y.
BUT WAIT. What’s this cheeky bit of paradiddle just a few posts further down? It’s Elneny showing those kiteboarding dilettantes what’s what on a little beach rally with his surefooted pops. Drink it in pals: the foreign, sun-steeped nectar of versatility.
Tight Jeans
There’s nothing like a big-time international tournament to distract from the few things that probably matter to you in life. Interested? The 2020 European Championships are just the ticket.
Enjoying this year's tournament is as easy as drawing the Jeaner’s continental cousin, Tight Jeans, into your cool, xenophobic arms.
Beginning Friday, and for the next month, Tight Jeans takes over from Darby Jean for Euro 2020 coverage. Tight Jeans is Darby Jean only shorter and more frequent- better dressed, better smelling and more polished, at least until the David Guetta comes on. Keep an eye out for the first round sometime this weekend.
Mings and Coady on the express paltrain (England Insta)
This photo is mint
Tyrone Mings and Connor Coady are in England’s squad for the 2020 Euros. It's great news for the two, particularly with Harry Maguire’s fragile physical state. Here they are lightheartedly disclosing their weekly earnings to each other during a post-training ice bath. Must be nice. I do miss a good ice bath.