Darby Jean #89 - Ronaldo ruined everything

This one shows Ronaldo on fire and wearing lots of different uniforms (Bleacher Report)

What I had planned for this week was a video putting a few things straight on the madness of the transfer window. That changed when I watched back my takes on Monday morning and saw what I feared to be true:

1) Things were just slightly out of focus
2) I shared nothing of value that any of you didn’t already know

Trust me, you’re not missing much. What you get instead is this pork scratching of a post, the basic premise of which is this:

Fucking Ronaldo ruined everything.

This one is exciting, but strange (Wallpaper Abyss)

Actually, it was Lukaku and Kane and Grealish and Messi, the big-time names driving English transfer business this summer, who ruined everything. Their dominoes fell first, opening doors for some players and clubs, and slamming them shut for others.

Transfer business flows from the top down. The money circulates amongst the big players and clubs, then to Jorge Mendes, then to Mino Raiola. Once these parties work out what’s going on the money works its way outward and downward, until eventually you’re watching Burnley play Southampton at 7:30 on a Saturday morning and can’t stand the sight of yourself.

This one's more subdued, but still, not sure why things are exploding? (DeviantArt)

But back to Ronaldo. The notorious oiled-up absman wanted out of Juventus, and because he’s insanely good at football there are only a handful of clubs who can afford him. Manchester City, as is usually the case, became a frontrunner once it became clear last week that Harry Kane would be staying at Spurs.

A window of opportunity had opened up for the game's most endearing narcissist.

This one's mostly confusing, but United-y, so relevant. (Wallpaper Safari)

It would have been perfect, too. By betraying the red half of Manchester (United, where he spent a heady seven years) in migrating to City's cesspool of excellence, Ronaldo would have been quickly spun as a first rate dickhead. Instead, he had a bit of a think and returned to United, and now all we have on our hands is a redemption story for a man who’s long existed outside of the price bracket of redemption.

Ronaldo doesn’t make United’s midfield better, but he's a welcome addition to their front line, lifting some of the weight from Edinson Cavani’s cheekbones and giving Mason Greenwood one hell of a thesis supervisor. More importantly, Ronaldo’s return sparks a Wickerman-sized blaze of belief in a squad whose upward trajectory was at a moderate slope. At 37, Ronaldo is 7/10 the right man for the job, but that doesn't matter to anyone at Manchester United.

Plus, everyone gets a kick out of the spin-move pointing to the ground thing he does when he scores.